Monday, May 3, 2010

I am one bad mutha...shutyo'mouth

Today, my friends, the sass is back.  Actually, it simply means I have been extraordinarily and unexplainedly grumpy pants.  sigh.  IF I KNEW WHY I WAS SO GRUMPY, IT WOULD BE EXPLAINEDLY.  Duh.

Yea.  I'm in THAT sort of place.  And if you join me here, I might just roll you.

(Ha!  Honestly, I am a tough talker, but the many years of growing up with a Preacher and a Sunday School teacher have guilted me into being a very sweet person.  So basically I am missing the the backup for my big, stupid mouth.  You should know this about me before reading further.)

All that aside, I think that massive rapid weight loss causes changes in your hormones and your brain chemistry/blood sugars.  And I think this may explain some of the following recent verbal exchanges:

"Wow, you look so great, how do you feel." --innocent bystander
"Kinda crappy."  *But it's good to know I don't look that way anymore, thanks* --rude, sarcastic version of me, even if the italicized half of that statement was only in my head

"I'll get your discharge paperwork as soon as it's signed by the doctor."  --lovely nurse who doesn't get thanked nearly enough for her fabulous self
"Yeah, I just took out my own IV and left it in one of those kidney dishes.  I'm getting dressed and leaving in 5 minutes with or without the paperwork."  --dehydrated, extraordinarily hungry evil version of me

Are you seeing a pattern yet?  Me too.  And while a small part of me thinks, "You go girl!" (you know, the part that is stuck in the 90's and thinks sayings like this are relevant), there is another part of me that thinks, "When did I get so bitchy, and when does it go away?"  Perhaps some hydrocortizone cream and a Benadryl?  A piece of real cheesecake a'la Golden Girls?  A good smack upside the head?

I don't know, dear friends.  Am I just rude, or am I keepin' it real?  Please weigh in below. In the meantime, I will avoid snatching candy from babies, kicking small furry creatures, and sarcasm so sharp it'll cut you if you look at it sideways.*

*Honestly, I would never do these things.  Well, except the sarcasm.  But that is a genetic condition.


  1. WELL, I would say the one to the innocent bystander would be rude, BUT you kept that part in your own head so it's totally exceptable! LOL.

    All in all I'd vote for "Keepin' it Real."

    Oh, and I can relate to the sarcasm, it is a condition and we that have it can't help it!

  2. I get it. I do.

    When I broke up with the person we both know, I felt like I didn't stand up for myself ENOUGH. It's like I woke up and was all "Oh. I don't want to be like this anymore. Maybe I do matter...and even if I don't believe this, maybe I should start standing up for myself."

    And THAT is when the pendulum swung the other way. So instead of being a doormat, I opted to be this PERSON who was frustrated, angry, and full of emotion that I had surpressed for far too long.

    Personally, I don't think you're being bitchy - I think you're being authentic.

    AND I think that it's years of Sunday School and preaching that got you to think that standing up for yourself was not desirable. It is.

    Whatever your "normal" is, you'll come back to it. But get out this frustration while you can.

    It's healthy, IMHO. :)


  3. You two are awesome personified! Thanks for the reassurance.