...Let me explain.
I was at the Wal-mart with Goldilocks the other day, waiting in the purgatory of the longest checkout lines in town, when I saw a beacon of light--the checkstand rotisserie chicken carosel. I am not making this up. You know how at the grocery store at 4:00 they put all of the fresh bread, smelling of deliciousness and your future shame of eating half of it before getting home? At this Wal-mart they do the same thing, ONLY WITH CHICKEN. Genius. I nearly bought two out of crazed delight before I remembered it would take me a week to eat just one chicken and the second would go bad before I could enjoy it.
And it got me thinking how things have changed since my gastric bypass 20.5 months ago (I'm counting the time like mothers do their children. As an aside, when do they stop counting in months? I actually heard a friend of mine say her boy was 36 months.) Sorry for the tangent. Anyhoo, it's one of those clearly illuminating moments of how things have changed. I think Oprah calls them Aha! moments, but I'm afraid to use that term in case I have her goons sent after me. That's right. The Oprah goons. I'm pretty sure they're real.
2 years ago, I would have impulse-bought a king size Snickers, maybe some gum, or the aforementioned French Bread Loaf of Shame. Chicken? That isn't fried? Forget it.
So much has changed that it's hard to realize when exactly that happened. Don't get me wrong--old habits WILL creep back in: night eating, carbs, overeating, taking a piece of candy from a co-worker's jar. I promise you, if you are still within your 1st year of surgery and thinking that it won't happen to you, that these things will happen. I had people tell me, and I didn't believe them either. But your own food demons will pop back up in an ugly way. The key is to focus on the changes you've made and to stay positive that you have made enough of a change in your first year of surgery that you have the tools to beat them back into submission.
So today, I'm focusing on my new impulse purchase. The Snickers didn't snicker at me or anything. I instinctively and without much thought went for something that really feeds my body, and not something that feeds those food demons. I beat them back...for today...