A major turn-off for me is people who judge. I actually think this is pretty common for those of us who are often judged on our looks. Like, fat=lazy, blond=dumb, business suit=competence. Yea, right. It never ceases to amaze me the way people are judged unfairly--and it always makes me mad.
Yet, here I am, looking into the mirrored door of the gym elevator. Yup, that's right, I take the elevator at the gym--going down the stairs is incredibly painful unless I go one at a time and create a stairway traffic jam. So I don't. It's a little like waiting for the closest parking space at the gym, I know.
Anyhoo...here I am looking at myself in the mirrored door of the elevator gym, and I am being a Judge-y McJudge-ington. My knees now have a crease above them since I have extra skin now. My belly is still a size 24, with a size 20 from the waist up. My shorts are too big and sloppy-looking. I'm red in the face from exertion. I imagine that all of the buff and beautiful people look at me and think, "Who is she kidding?"
I judge myself much more harshly than anyone living outside of my head ever has. I judge myself MUCH more harshly than I do anyone I know, and even more than I do strangers. I would never talk about someone the way I self-talk.
I wonder when my judge is going to pack up her black robe, her white wig (yeah, she's British), her heavy gavel, and leave? I really do think it's time to retire the bitch and send her off to Boca Raton.
You need to start being your own defense attorney.
ReplyDeleteWhen that british judge says something negative, you have to say "I OBJECT!" Tell her how far you've come, and that no one in the world even sees you the way she does. Tell her she's being completely unfair!
When she slams down that gavel and says you're out of order, you have to yell at her "THIS WHOLE COURT IS OUT OF ORDER!"
LOL, Ok... maybe I've seen to many court room drama movies... but hey, you get the point :)
You already know that no one judges you as harshly as yourself, you just have to quit being so hard on yourself!!!
Kick her off the bench! (Love that last sentence, Boca Raton will work too lol)
I'm a big time judger too. I judge myself for judging. I used to just judge others but then realized I'd be condemning myself when I did it. It's a vicious circle. I can't remember where it comes from. I think I analyzed beyond the judging though I believe it's mostly a habit. Best to be de-programmed at the Betty Ford clinic.
ReplyDelete