A major turn-off for me is people who judge. I actually think this is pretty common for those of us who are often judged on our looks. Like, fat=lazy, blond=dumb, business suit=competence. Yea, right. It never ceases to amaze me the way people are judged unfairly--and it always makes me mad.
Yet, here I am, looking into the mirrored door of the gym elevator. Yup, that's right, I take the elevator at the gym--going down the stairs is incredibly painful unless I go one at a time and create a stairway traffic jam. So I don't. It's a little like waiting for the closest parking space at the gym, I know.
Anyhoo...here I am looking at myself in the mirrored door of the elevator gym, and I am being a Judge-y McJudge-ington. My knees now have a crease above them since I have extra skin now. My belly is still a size 24, with a size 20 from the waist up. My shorts are too big and sloppy-looking. I'm red in the face from exertion. I imagine that all of the buff and beautiful people look at me and think, "Who is she kidding?"
I judge myself much more harshly than anyone living outside of my head ever has. I judge myself MUCH more harshly than I do anyone I know, and even more than I do strangers. I would never talk about someone the way I self-talk.
I wonder when my judge is going to pack up her black robe, her white wig (yeah, she's British), her heavy gavel, and leave? I really do think it's time to retire the bitch and send her off to Boca Raton.