Okay, before I launch into this one, please go visit Eggface at theworldaccordingtoeggface. She is doing a giveaway for her birthday/surgiversary (and she has some of the best weight loss surgery recipes around).
Now back to being all about me.
So back to boundaries. To refresh your memory, I have a job that requires good boundaries, and so I have learned to develop them at work. At home, on my own, or with a partner...not so much. Since I'm already all about me, let's start there.
You know how there were kids that would do their homework early so they could go to Waterworld? Or practice piano right when they got home so they could then have time to go outside and play? Yea, that was never me. I am an instant gratification monger (you know, like a war-monger only less 'offwiththeirheads'-y). I never really got good at putting off what I want, and I'm still not.
There's an experiment that was done with children. Relax, it wasn't Mary Kay doing the experimenting, it was some dude (and his buddies) named Mischel. He put a marshmallow in front of a preschooler and told them they could eat it now, or get two marshmallows later. He'd then leave the room and see if they could delay immediate gratification for a bigger reward later. Check it out on YouTube to see the videos--these kids are awfully cute trying to resist the Stay-Puft. He found that the kids that were best able to resist the 1st marshmallow and wait tended to be more successful in later life.
Duh. It didn't take a scientific experiment for me to know that if I were better at putting off my need for instant gratification I would be more successful at things like saving money or losing weight. Gee, I could not buy the new car now and I would have more money later? You mean if I don't eat the whole box of Nutty Bars (Little Debbie is an evil slut for even thinking those up) I will get to wear skinny jeans and look cute? I'm not a complete idiot, just a little ADD.
So as an adult, when you realize that you'd like to lose weight, or save money for new granite countertops in your kitchen, or maybe even a new place with an attached garage, what do you do when you realize you've been in the 'loser' group all along and you'd like to switch teams?
Practice, I guess. I think it takes practice to create a meal plan for the day and stick to it. To give yourself a bedtime and stick to it (I have 30 minutes left, by the way). To get up and clean the house. To get out and walk or work out.
And setting and sticking to all these boundaries is weird. It's awkward, it isn't comfortable and easy like a Sunday morning. But I do think it's something I have to learn and put into practice in order to be successful.
Surely it's not just me. Only about 30% of the kids in the experiment delayed their gratification in order to get to the 2nd marshmallow. So I guess I shouldn't feel so bad about it-70% of us are all in the same boat. How about you?