Friday, April 16, 2010

The surgery was on my belly, not my brain

I truly wish that along with the belly surgery I'd gotten brain surgery too.  Not literally, because I know that is a bitch (having had a good friend go through it).  What I mean is that my brain still thinks like the old me, has my old compulsions and habits, and does the same dumb things.

My biggest problem is night eating.  I've been justifying it because my surgeon remarked that I would feel better eating before bed so I didn't go so long without food.

But the fact of the matter is that I'm not eating enough during the day to help my brain to stop craving stuff all evening.

This scares me, because right now I'm still losing weight, but 2-3 years from now, when Pouchie has stretched to near-normal proportions, I won't have the surgery keeping me from eating.  I've got to learn the habits and make the changes now, while I still have the surgical advantage.

I'm giving myself some time, since I'll be going through another surgery soon to fix the hernia, but I am going to have to learn how to get my brain lined up with my belly.  And soon...

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