Tomorrow is my 4-week surgiversary, so naturally I had my 3-week nutrition class.* Now prepare yourself for me to gloat on how awesome I am:
1. I have lost almost 50 lbs since my pre-op appointment. That's right. "The Biggest Loser" can cover THAT in syrup and shove it down their pie-holes!** The week of ice-chips and the Valentine's Day ER trip for a stricture may have something to do with the fact that I lost more weight than anyone else in the class--including the men. But I'm takin' credit for it!
2. Even though I feel as thought I don't know what I'm doing post-surgery, I knew way more than anyone else in the nutrition class (except, of course, the nutritionist). I knew all the answers to the questions she asked us, and I knew most of the answers to the questions that the other patient's asked. I even was able to give tips on how to make a hot protein shake (like a cappucino or hot chocolate) without having it get gritty (hint: it involves making a slurry). I guess I'm getting better at this than I realized.
3. I parked far away from the office and walked there, without my supplemental oxygen. By myself. Uphill. In snow (well, melted snow, but you get the idea).
4. I had plans to go shopping after the class, but I had already drank all the water I had brought and I hadn't had protein in about 3 hours. So I had to decide: go shopping and pay for it later because I'm dehydrated and hungy? or do what I should and go home and take care of myself. Now, if you knew me before, you would know that I would jump on that shopping trip like Kathy Griffin on a Gay Pride float.*** I would have paid for it later by being really sick, but I've always been more about fun than consequences. This time, however, I made the smart decision and actually went home to take care of myself.
5. I decided my reward for all the proceeding fabulousness was to use my Borders gift card from Christmas and blow all $25 on an array of useless but beautiful magazines (which I love!). I didn't even consider a food reward (which has always been my go-to). So I'm heading out there later this evening.
Folks, in our society, we are very rarely allowed to toot our own horns. I know that women especially are taught not to brag because it is unlady-like. And I generally feel like I should keep my big mouth shut because of these unwritten rules. But I have to say that it feels really good to have things going well at this point. So here I am unashamedly (yet metaphorically) leaning my head out the window and yelling "TOOT TOOT" at the top of my lungs.
*Math portions of this post brought to you by the letter C, as in the grade I got in math class in 7th grade.
**Writer of this blog does not espouse any sort of forced or involuntary pie-hole-shoving, whether or not it is covered in syrup.
***...not that there's anything wrong with that. I love me some Kathy Griffin. And Gay Pride. Please don't be offended by my similes.