Dum, dum, da dum dum de dum
Dum dum da dum, dum dum dum dadeda da dum...
Yes, that is exactly right. It's OLYMPIC time again.
I love the olympics. I don't know if it's the pagentry, the song, the competition, or the NBC "showcase" of the high-ranking atheletes, but that song gets me going.
So, of course, I start thinking about how I'm in my own, Weight Loss Olympics. I can't decide if having the surgery is akin to taking steroids or if it's more like getting to train at high altitude, but regardless of how I'm getting my "leg up" on the competition, it's still a long grueling road. I hope I get a shiny medal at the end.
And I think I'm focusing a little like an Olympic athlete has to--focus on what you have to do today, but keep your eye on the goal at the end. For me, I'm tracking all my protein, water, and vitamins on a daily basis and just trying to make the mark. But I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this to affect how I'm going to feel 6 months or 6 years from now--healthy and happy.
Maybe I'll even take up skiing.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Bad Pouchie! No! No!
My Pouchie is supposed to be my best friend when it comes to weight loss and better health. My Pouchie is trying to betray me.
Apparently I have a stomach stricture, and get to have an outpatient hospital visit tomorrow to get Pouchie loosened up enough to let things through. This is the same issue I had in the hospital, and when I called my surgeon this afternoon to find out if it was a problem that my stomach wouldn't empty his replay was, "Yeah, I'm not surprised." (??!!) I guess he and Pouchie met during the surgery and he could tell that she didn't like to share her bounty with my intestines (no, they don't have a cute name yet).
Oh, and I also have a string coming out. That's right. Not a stitch. A STRING. Like a piece of twine. Poking out of one of the holes in my belly. Even worse, it's healed into my skin so I now have a perma-string sticking out of me. I guess I can consider it an adornment, and dye or fringe it for special occasions. But damn! First Pouchie betrays me by acting up, and now I have Stringy entering into the mix. I will never be lonely now.
Creepy, right? Ya, that's how I feel. And it's all IN MY BELLY.
I think I should take some oxycodone and call it a night.
Apparently I have a stomach stricture, and get to have an outpatient hospital visit tomorrow to get Pouchie loosened up enough to let things through. This is the same issue I had in the hospital, and when I called my surgeon this afternoon to find out if it was a problem that my stomach wouldn't empty his replay was, "Yeah, I'm not surprised." (??!!) I guess he and Pouchie met during the surgery and he could tell that she didn't like to share her bounty with my intestines (no, they don't have a cute name yet).
Oh, and I also have a string coming out. That's right. Not a stitch. A STRING. Like a piece of twine. Poking out of one of the holes in my belly. Even worse, it's healed into my skin so I now have a perma-string sticking out of me. I guess I can consider it an adornment, and dye or fringe it for special occasions. But damn! First Pouchie betrays me by acting up, and now I have Stringy entering into the mix. I will never be lonely now.
Creepy, right? Ya, that's how I feel. And it's all IN MY BELLY.
I think I should take some oxycodone and call it a night.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My letter to Michelle Obama
Dear Ms. Obama:
I've heard a lot in the news about your desire to campaign against childhood obesity, and I feel compelled to tell you my personal story.
You see, I've been overweight my whole life, including the childhood years that you are most concerned about. My final straw was reaching almost 350 lbs (at 5'5"), and I had gastric bypass surgery on 1/21/10 to try and gain control over my life and reclaim my health. So I applaud your idea to ensure children have access and encouragement to eat healthy food and get more exercise.
My concern, however, rests with the idea of "eliminating childhood obesity," and the unintended repercussions of this focus. Imagine being 12 years old and overweight, bombarded with images of models who are size 2 at every turn, frustrated by not finding clothes in your size, teased and humiliated by peers and society as a whole for being fat, and now the First Lady starts a campaign focusing on obesity. Might you feel more judged and singled out? Might others be more willing to judge you harshly for your size? Might you feel more of a social stigma than you already do?
Our culture enacts a tremendous penalty on people who are overweight, and a focus on losing weight simply reinforces those penalties. It focuses on what is wrong with a child, and how to "fix it", instead of focusing on how each and every child can take control of their health regardless of their current size or shape.
Please consider re-evaluating this message. Emphasize that children should eat more healthfully, and should have positive forms of physical movement, rather than focusing on fat children. By encouraging good eating and exercise habits regardless of a child's current weight, children, their parents, educators and health care professionals can work on a positive message that doesn't create judgement or engender feelings of shame.
I wish you the best of luck, and I truly do applaud your efforts in affecting change. I only ask that you consider the emotional and psychological impact of your campaign, and that you carefully tailor your message to enact the most positive form of change.
Thank you for listening,
Audra
I've heard a lot in the news about your desire to campaign against childhood obesity, and I feel compelled to tell you my personal story.
You see, I've been overweight my whole life, including the childhood years that you are most concerned about. My final straw was reaching almost 350 lbs (at 5'5"), and I had gastric bypass surgery on 1/21/10 to try and gain control over my life and reclaim my health. So I applaud your idea to ensure children have access and encouragement to eat healthy food and get more exercise.
My concern, however, rests with the idea of "eliminating childhood obesity," and the unintended repercussions of this focus. Imagine being 12 years old and overweight, bombarded with images of models who are size 2 at every turn, frustrated by not finding clothes in your size, teased and humiliated by peers and society as a whole for being fat, and now the First Lady starts a campaign focusing on obesity. Might you feel more judged and singled out? Might others be more willing to judge you harshly for your size? Might you feel more of a social stigma than you already do?
Our culture enacts a tremendous penalty on people who are overweight, and a focus on losing weight simply reinforces those penalties. It focuses on what is wrong with a child, and how to "fix it", instead of focusing on how each and every child can take control of their health regardless of their current size or shape.
Please consider re-evaluating this message. Emphasize that children should eat more healthfully, and should have positive forms of physical movement, rather than focusing on fat children. By encouraging good eating and exercise habits regardless of a child's current weight, children, their parents, educators and health care professionals can work on a positive message that doesn't create judgement or engender feelings of shame.
I wish you the best of luck, and I truly do applaud your efforts in affecting change. I only ask that you consider the emotional and psychological impact of your campaign, and that you carefully tailor your message to enact the most positive form of change.
Thank you for listening,
Audra
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
32 lbs lost, just shy of 2 weeks out!
I still can't believe that when I type it. I've lost 32 lbs. My feet are skinny. I have a hint of a jawline. I can stand for more than 3 minutes without severe hip/back pain. I can breathe better.
I can't wait to see what other changes another 32 lbs will make!
I just hope it won't take another week of nothing but ice chips in the hospital to find out.
I can't wait to see what other changes another 32 lbs will make!
I just hope it won't take another week of nothing but ice chips in the hospital to find out.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Boy, is my stomach stubborn!
That's right, it leaps small staples in a single bound! It dances away from the surgeon's blade! It laughs in the face of an upper GI! It spews whatever nutritional entity is introduced to it! It is...Pouchie the Pain-in-the-a**!
That's right, my surgery was not the smoothest. Apparently my liver is the size of a football and I have a hernia in my belly button that needed repair (I had thought I was getting so fat that my belly button was caving under pressure). So the surgery itself was difficult. Then, when I woke up, I couldn't feel my feet. I couldn't stand, walk, stroll, wiggle my toes...nothing. Finally, the new stomach pouch (which I have christened "Pouchie") was taken in to the upper GI test, where he would not surrender the bariatric dye. That's right a blockage.
To keep it from getting too graphic (as my friend D. will lose her cookies), I was in the hospital for 8 days instead of 2.5. Yikes.
But I can tell you that I can already stand, and walk, and bend at the waist (a little, anyway). I do have to have supplemental oxygen, but they think that as my body loses fat that my lungs will get the extra room and I will be fine.
Let's see how the weekend goes...
That's right, my surgery was not the smoothest. Apparently my liver is the size of a football and I have a hernia in my belly button that needed repair (I had thought I was getting so fat that my belly button was caving under pressure). So the surgery itself was difficult. Then, when I woke up, I couldn't feel my feet. I couldn't stand, walk, stroll, wiggle my toes...nothing. Finally, the new stomach pouch (which I have christened "Pouchie") was taken in to the upper GI test, where he would not surrender the bariatric dye. That's right a blockage.
To keep it from getting too graphic (as my friend D. will lose her cookies), I was in the hospital for 8 days instead of 2.5. Yikes.
But I can tell you that I can already stand, and walk, and bend at the waist (a little, anyway). I do have to have supplemental oxygen, but they think that as my body loses fat that my lungs will get the extra room and I will be fine.
Let's see how the weekend goes...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tomorrow's the day
...therefore tonight is the night I worry. Did I make the right decision? Will I heal well? Can I ever eat pizza again? So, to keep occupied and yet still obsess, here is my list of obsessions.
- I have to bathe in iodine tonight and tomorrow. What if my shellfish sensitivity is really an allergy to iodine and I turn into one enormous hive? What if I stain the shower, my bath poof, the towels, or spill it on the cat? What if I miss a spot?
- I had to take a stool softener (TMI, I know). What if I poop on the surgery table? It happened to a pregnant friend of mine, so you never know.
- What if, at the last minute, they tell me to go home because they found out that I am weak-willed and desperately want pizza?
- What if they read this and decide I shouldn't have passed the psych eval after all
- What if I get that sleep-eating thing tonight and have to reschedule because my stomach isn't empty?
- What is going to happen with my hair? All the experts say to expect losing your hair, and I've already lost at least 1/2 of my thickness because of a weird hormone thing.
- What if I can't do it, and I don't lose any weight?
- What if I do it, and then regain everything I lost?
- What will I wear, and why am I not allowed mascara in the O.R.?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Bariatric Babe's new beginning
Okay, so I decided that since I am a prominent HR Guru, I should have a code name for blogging. Or "handle" as my parents called it in the 70's (or so I heard). And I remember asking my good friend D. what she was doing. The response was, "Oh, you know. Just sitting around being a babe." So I picked Bariatric Babe, or The Babe (as the case may be).
If you are thinking, "I want to know more about this obviously astute and clever 'D.'," you should check out her blog Fit by Fifty. She is HI-larious. And understands the fight between the desire to be fit and the desire to eat Giant Cheetos.
If you are thinking, "I want to know more about this obviously astute and clever 'D.'," you should check out her blog Fit by Fifty. She is HI-larious. And understands the fight between the desire to be fit and the desire to eat Giant Cheetos.
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