Ever wondered why macadamia nuts are sold in the smallest can on the nut shelf? I always thought it was the price. It is not.
I made the mistake of going to COSTCO (never a smart thing for someone who can eat 1/4 c. of food), and I browsed (mistake number 2). I did find, but did not buy, an awesome Michael Kors pea coat, and the XL just about fit...yeah! If it's still there in a couple months I will buy it! Then I found, and bought, a ginormous can of Mauna Loa macadamia nuts. Hey, I've had them since surgery, and they tasted really good, so why not?
I can now tell you why. Those tricky little Hawaiian nuggets of goodness would not let me stop at one. Or at 4. Or at fourteen. Next thing I knew, I was bloated with Mauna Loa Madness and really mad at myself. I very nearly threw up. If I'd swallowed so much as a mouthful of air or saliva I would have lost the whole caboodle. It was not pretty.
Instead of learning from my mistake, today I thought, "I really should get ahold of that macadamia nut craving and slow down and eat a couple and really savor them." That lovely thought turned into a slobbering, gulping food fest and now I feel really icky. I feel even worse now because I saw how many grams of fat are in these. YIKES.
This is a great example of how the surgery works on our bodies, but not our minds. I'm really doing some intensive work on my relationship with food and how to find some peace with it, instead of letting it rule my life like before. I am really afraid that if I don't get a handle on this that I will end up gaining all my weight back, and it's terrifying. So I'm going to a class on emotional eating sponsored by my surgeon and am thinking of trying individual sessions with the instructor. If the Great Macadamia Munch of 2010 shows me anything, it is that I can't do it alone.
On the up side, I weighed myself this morning and was down to 217. Finally. It took only 4 months to lose the first 100lbs, and it's taken me 4.5 months to lose another 32. And I went without a loss for the entire month of September. I'm hoping this recent loss means that I'm starting on a new downward trend. In order to continue this, though, I'm fairly sure it will mean saying Aloha to the Macadamia Nut Devil.