- I have to bathe in iodine tonight and tomorrow. What if my shellfish sensitivity is really an allergy to iodine and I turn into one enormous hive? What if I stain the shower, my bath poof, the towels, or spill it on the cat? What if I miss a spot?
- I had to take a stool softener (TMI, I know). What if I poop on the surgery table? It happened to a pregnant friend of mine, so you never know.
- What if, at the last minute, they tell me to go home because they found out that I am weak-willed and desperately want pizza?
- What if they read this and decide I shouldn't have passed the psych eval after all
- What if I get that sleep-eating thing tonight and have to reschedule because my stomach isn't empty?
- What is going to happen with my hair? All the experts say to expect losing your hair, and I've already lost at least 1/2 of my thickness because of a weird hormone thing.
- What if I can't do it, and I don't lose any weight?
- What if I do it, and then regain everything I lost?
- What will I wear, and why am I not allowed mascara in the O.R.?
Editing the notes of my life as I go through treatment for Pancreatic Cancer. Formerly the Bariatric Babe, working on becoming a Survivor.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tomorrow's the day
...therefore tonight is the night I worry. Did I make the right decision? Will I heal well? Can I ever eat pizza again? So, to keep occupied and yet still obsess, here is my list of obsessions.
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I lost all my hair with chemo. It's not so bad. I looked great bald except the huge airstrip of a flatspot on the back of head which btw, I didn't have to look at because the eyes in the back of my head only worked when my kids were really young.
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